*I love you, DeAnna, Is a recently channeled conversation that took place between DeAnna and I now that she is on the other side. What I assumed would simply be me retelling the story of our compelling experience together when she was still in her body literally turned into me as listener and scribe while she recalled all of the details and meticulously directed me to fill in the blanks. What a joy she is to "work" with, still. I am so honored....
So, I have decided to write as if I don’t have much longer to live. Which is in fact, not so far from the truth if we consider the human life span and we define life to be the time in which we are human, lol. As I tiptoe into my 61st year I can't go without saying that marking time here in the form of years and applying some meaning to it is still one of THE most bizarre human behaviors or customs I have encountered to date. That and the act of comparing ourselves to one another…
I am joined today by DeAnna and have completely opened to her my heart, mind, and ears. There is no accident that she has come and that Mark accompanies her. They are my friends and I have sat with them both many times, often in my own tears. I met Mark shortly after he passed and DeAnna just before she made her transition.
Both are free to speak through me today. Mark is saying that DeAnna is the instigator for today and shows me them dancing as if they are a professional team. He says that although he likes to lead very much, today is DeAnna’s Dance. I in turn realized that while driving here I actually heard the words “DeAnna’s Dance” and thought it was to be the title of this book (story). We shall see where it all lands but for now, I am more than pleased to move forward with DeAnna and her dance.
DeAnna’s story:
DeAnna calls me for an appointment. A fellow client has referred her. As it turns out, DeAnna has had my card from many years prior and has looked at it dozens of times then put it back in her wallet. My current client mentioned my name to her and she decided to follow through and make the call. She arrives to see me on a Tuesday. I know this because she is literally narrating in my head now, and although I cannot remember the absolute specifics of the entire appointment to this degree any longer, she smiles and reminds me that she CAN.
“Just write it down, please, LeeAnne.” I nod in agreement, “Yes, maam!”
I don't know if DeAnna sees what I see in my head right now as I write this but I am watching from my office window as she pulls in. She arrives in a high-end white sports car. A tiny, fit, young woman of Asian descent energetically tumbles out of the driver seat in a designer tracksuit and shoes, the absolute picture of vitality and beauty. I am serious when I say she is beautiful. Her beauty is the kind that is wrapped up in magnetism. Like a Sunbeam. I wonder why she is here.
She said it was urgent.
We greet one another and enter my office where I get her seated and ask her what is on her mind. As if it is the most normal thing in the world, she explains that she has been battling cancer since she was 25.
How old are you now, I ask? I am 31. She literally looks 21.
She explains that she has been through multiple rounds and phases of treatments and was even told it was gone a few times. She never once bought into it resulting in her actual death. Not even once. She knew she was going to beat this. Never even considered another possibility.
“And now?” I ask.
“Well, now it's back. And it's really strange because I am struggling in a way I never have before. Something is happening and I can't seem to get a grip on it and I am hoping you can help me.”
“What is it, DeAnna?”
“Well,I don't know any other way to put it except that now, it's messing with MY SOUL. Like, I can’t find my way. I am definitely not at peace. It really is messing with my SOUL.
So, I’m here because, well, I don't exactly know. I just know it is time to speak with you. So I called. Finally, I’m sorry I didn't call before now.”
As she speaks and I listen, another very real conversation begins to simultaneously take place in my ‘higher mind’ and information begins to flow gently in:
“DeAnna, I don’t know what we will do or accomplish in this experience today. That is how present I am to the situation so that I can completely lend myself to you and your guidance system. You will show me how to navigate this. If you will allow me to just go with what I am getting while you trust the process, then this is what I propose we do next, okay?
“Completely,” she says.
“ I trust you already. Besides, what do I have to lose other than the obvious?”
It is unfathomable to me that this beautiful, vital and lovely young woman is actually “sick”. Nothing other than her words would indicate it. She is so full of life in this instance. I move forward with a level of acute awareness and quite honestly a similar level of curiosity. This just doesn't make sense to me, the human.
I invite DeAnna to move from her chair to my healing table. She slides off her shoes and I show her on which end I prefer she places her head and that she will lie on her back. We are quietly talking as I begin to connect more deeply with her physical field. I touch her head and shoulders lightly. Her eyes are open so I smile down at her. We are quiet. She is watching me intently. I am in a mini-movie in my head as I see a memory of an experience I have had in my past that shifted my experience of myself and changed something deep inside of me.
Without knowing exactly how this will work with DeAnna I simply hand over the reins to the wisdom of our Soul’s as infinite guidance begins to flow freely.
Finally I am directed to speak.
Okay, DeAnna, this is what we are going to do.
We are going to try a little experiment.
“First, I am going to go to your feet and hold them. I check in with her telepathically now and remind her of how this works. I have a silent checklist in my head that I go through with each client. It is done the same way every time. It is a conversation that we hold on a different plane that allows for both of us to set aside our egos and let our Souls, the expanded, all-knowing versions of ourselves, take over while essentially, we observe and support from the wings, so to speak. Kind of like how other doctors will observe surgery from above and learn new skill sets and techniques in order to both enhance their confidence as they enhance their own overall abilities.
Using this technique allows me to stay uninvolved personally yet also allows me to stay completely involved and present. (God, I so love this work and that I get to openly be who I AM).
I begin to explain more to DeAnna:
“So, while I am holding your feet as I am doing now I am also going to begin a silent narrative in my head.
It may sound weird but I am going to begin repeating to myself: “I love you, LeeAnne.”
It sounds bizarre, right?
She laughs and says “well, yeh, just a little…”
Now the Interesting piece is that while I am doing this, YOU are going to begin saying in your head: “I love you, DeAnna” at the exact same time that I am saying ”I love you, LeeAnne”.
“Got it?”
She lifts her head and looks at me as if to say:
Are you serious? This is the best you can come up with?
I just smile and say with absolute kindness:
“ DeAnna, you chose to come here today. Not the other way around, right?”
She nods apologetically and although she cannot hide her skepticism she also chooses to drop all resistance, support what I am being shown to do and simply trust that I really am being instructed what to do.
I take a moment to explain that this is as unusual a directive for me as it is for her also. Nevertheless, I trust my guidance more than I trust my own breath, so please placate me and
lets just go for it, okay?”
She shakes her head yes…
“When I say 1, 2, 3 GO, you will begin saying ‘I love you, DeAnna’ silently to yourself. You will do this over and over without stopping until I let you know to stop, okay?
We may go on like this for 10 minutes or more, I honestly don't know. Meanwhile, I will simultaneously be saying ‘I love you, LeeAnne’ silently to myself for the duration also. Got it?”
“Yes.”
I stand at DeAnna’s feet for at least 10, maybe 15 minutes.
The room is eerily still, in complete silence except for the mantra of ‘I love you LeeAnne’ circulating in my head.
I feel nothing. No energy, no shift, no anything.
Hmmmm. This is odd.
I gently ask DeAnna if she can hear me? She answers, “yes”.
“Are you experiencing anything?” Not really she replies.
Hmmmm.
I check in with my Guidance silently saying,
“I don't understand what is happening…can I get some help here, please? Why is nothing happening?”
A thought instantly occurs to me, so I ask DeAnna:
“How did you feel saying ‘I love you DeAnna’ to yourself?’”
“Honestly, she answers, “It felt really weird and uncomfortable so I just switched it right away to ‘I love you, LeeAnne’, instead.
"That was a lot easier for me so I just went with it."
“Oh, Honey,” I reply, “ that is very sweet of you; however, from what I can surmise, that is not what we are being asked to do. I am hearing very specific instructions and it's pretty important that I say it to ME and that YOU say it to YOU.”
“ Do you think you can give it another try? And this time, Love, no deviating from the plan, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Alright, here we go again…1, 2, 3 GO!”
I begin saying “I love you, LeeAnne” as I hold her feet. 10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds…I feel a small rush of energy move up from the earth into my feet. Instinctively I shift my weight around and open to the flow of energy flooding my legs and deliberately focus on grounding the energy. At 60 seconds the energy flows up from the earth and fully engages with my entire body. It is really strong and directly affects my breathing.
‘I Love you LeeAnne’ resonates through me and it is as if every cell of me becomes completely infused with it.
It is so STRONG.
Stronger than I can say out loud.
I am standing solid on the ground yet, Internally I feel my own field and body begin to expand. It is extraordinary, the power of this surge.
It is at this moment, perhaps 2 minutes in, that I realize I am not sure that I can hold this and I say as much to my Guidance, “omg, you have got to help me, I don't think I can hold this and stay in my body!”
In response, I hear “Let go. We’ve got this. It's all alright, Let go LeeAnne”.
And so, I relinquish the reins.
It is at this very instant that DeAnna lets out an incredibly loud squeal.
It isn’t a scream.
it is a squeal, like when you receive a surprise that thrills you.
It's joyous and followed by
“Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!
Yes! Yes!
I do hear you!
Yes, I do understand!
Yes, Oh my God, Yes!
Thank you! Thank you! Yes, Thank you!”
Catching me completely by surprise, DeAnna instantly sits straight up on the table as she announces to me:
Thank you! Oh my God, LeeAnne, Thank you. How will I ever repay you for this? Thank you!”.
Mind you, I am still catching up to this instant shift in energy while she is already climbing off of the table.
I hear myself imploring her to “Wait! Hold up just a minute!”
I need to make sure that she and quite honestly, WE, are actually grounded and energetically “safe” to be moving about the world just yet, and I say as much.
She replies,
“Don't worry! I know exactly what is happening! I am SO grounded and safe!
I do need to go right now though.
I have to get to my Dad!
He has to hear this from me, right away!”
“Oh LeeAnne, I can't wait to tell him I’m not dying!”
She is grinning like her face is going to explode with joy .
She grabs me and hugs me hard as she makes her exit.
She is SO calm in her complete exuberance.
It is a beautifully compelling and totally magical experience to witness.
She grabs her things and runs out at mach speed and turns back to say she has no way to thank me that can match what I have given.
Her smile is so bright it blows me away.
We never even discuss who she was talking to and/or what was said.
But she knew and I knew that she knew she knew.
I have been there myself, many, many times and I indeed know that feeling well.
I stood there quietly as I watched her back out of the drive and the only thing I heard was me thinking out loud: “You’re welcome, but it wasn't me…”
I slowly walk back into my office and take a seat in the chair by the window. The mid-afternoon Sun is streaming through the big window and I let my body soak it all in. There is a warm stillness that wraps itself around me and I just feel at one with my Soul.
Enveloped in a peaceful place of deep grace, I realize how ridiculously blessed I am.
***As time unfolded, I found myself talking to DeAnna in my head often over the next several weeks. I even stopped to acknowledge that she was talking to me as much as I was talking to her. This was a conversation of reciprocity.
However, in the linear world, I never heard from her in the physical sense again.
About 3 months later, the person who had referred her to me called me and said she had just
attended DeAnna’s wake and that she had gotten permission to share the rest of her story with me.
She noted that DeAnna was the happiest she had ever been in her life the last few months and had appeared to have a renewed level of strength and vitality. She noted that perhaps it was simply determination on DeAnna's part but either way, she and her fiance' had managed to make a trip overseas to meet his family and it was incredibly special. Nevertheless, soon after their return she began to feel very tired again. This time DeAnna was authentically lighthearted about it, so much so that it was as if she was not surprised in the least bit about her circumstances. This fundamental shift into a beautiful level of acceptance and her consequent responses to her circle of support helped everyone she loved get on board and her final weeks in her body were truly fabulous.
Her words. “Fabulous!”
Her friend then said: “LeeAnne, you cannot imagine how lovely and filled with light she was. She was not afraid at all. She spoke to each of us with the confidence and serenity of an actual Angel, telling us to trust her and that she knew exactly who she was and what was taking place. She told us she remembered it all and was completely at peace.
